one year later

When I saw you, it had been a year since the last.

Maybe a little more

We locked eyes, longer than any other glance made that day

To everyone, we were two strangers. To each other, that glance was a memory of who we once knew.

Hurt and expired love. For me at least.

I saw you

one year later

In the grand scheme of things, that’s not too long of a time. But, I’m a different person now. I’m sure you are too.

Two people, strangers now, who’s eyes told the story of two people, once together.

His eagerness and her hurt.

You sound different. You’ve lost your accent a little. Your “r’s” roll of a little smoother now.

Your curls are looser and your hair seems darker.

Your eyes though, they haven’t changed.

While, I don’t know who looks into them or who they light up at. Your eyes locking with mine, for the first time in a year, make my heart beat so loud I have to focus to hear anything over it.

Your eyes, they bring back emotions I once prayed so hard to get over.

You go on, as do I. Playing the role of strangers, what others are expecting of us.

You set your phone down and curiosity hits me. I wonder what your lock screen is, and all the other things that had to have changed.

The necklace you carefully adjust, is it the same you wore with me?

I catch myself and try to carry on.

I think of all of the ways I have changed over the year.

To you, my hair is dark, longer and I speak a little less.

I still have so much to say, just no longer to you.

To you, I dress differently, but haven’t changed my love for New York and hats.

I wonder what else you notice, if anything at all.

I type away on a phone that has never been used to reach out to you.

My lock screen is of my dog, you’ve never met her.

My eyes though, they haven’t changed.

Despite my efforts to outgrow thoughts of you and move past every “what if”

My eyes haven’t changed.

They do their best to avoid yours and each time they fail they reflect the hurt of almost.

I almost loved you

You almost loved me

We almost worked

I wonder what goes through your mind when you look into me.

One year later, I wonder if you regret things

One year later, I wonder if your heart reacts to its eyes meeting mine.

Is there familiarity?

Easily and I’m sure accurately, you don’t feel what I do. All that I do.

Something I was never able to understand. Even one year later, looking into your eyes with so much unsaid between them.

The reintroduction of your blue eyes creates the need for recovery. Days and weeks I will relive, rethink, and analyze this moment.

Looking into your eyes again,

one year later.